Pets n Story

An Australian sexuality educator named Deanne Carson has recently sparked widespread debate and controversy across social media platforms and parenting communities worldwide by suggesting that parents should seek a baby’s consent before changing their  diapers. While this idea may initially sound unconventional or even impractical to many, it is rooted in a broader philosophy of fostering a “culture of consent” from the very start of a child’s life. Carson’s perspective has ignited passionate discussions about how early and in what ways children can be taught about bodily autonomy and respect for personal boundaries.

Carson, who describes herself as a sexuality educator, public speaker, and author on topics related to human development and relationships, has been advocating for the importance of consent education starting at infancy. Her argument is not that babies, who are clearly unable to speak or fully comprehend complex ideas, will verbally agree or refuse  diaper changes. Rather, she suggests that parents can begin introducing the concept of consent by narrating their actions and attentively observing their baby’s non-verbal cues such as eye contact, body movements, facial expressions, and sounds.

For example, Carson encourages parents to say things like, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?” while pausing to watch for signs of comfort or distress. In doing so, she says, parents respect the baby’s body and begin building a foundation of trust and communication that can help the child develop a sense of agency as they grow older. The goal is to normalize respectful interactions and personal boundaries early on, rather than waiting until children are older and more capable of verbal communication.

This idea aligns with evolving parenting trends that place increased emphasis on emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and respectful communication within families. Pediatricians and early childhood experts often emphasize the importance of responding to infants’ non-verbal signals — such as coos, giggles, cries, and physical movements — as vital parts of healthy communication and bonding. By incorporating the concept of consent into routine caregiving tasks, Carson believes parents can cultivate an environment where children feel seen, heard, and respected, even before they can articulate their feelings with words.

Family games

However, Carson’s proposal has generated significant criticism and ridicule from many quarters. Some detractors argue that the notion of asking a baby for permission before changing their diaper is simply impractical, unnecessary, or even absurd. Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia, dismissed it as “lefty lunacy,” a dismissive phrase used to describe what he sees as excessive political correctness or over-sensitivity. Similarly, John Rosemond, a well-known psychologist and columnist on parenting, sharply criticized Carson’s approach. Rosemond wrote that the idea would have been considered deranged in the recent past and claimed that instead of promoting healthy family dynamics, it fosters confusion, mistrust, and dysfunction.

Family games

On social media, reactions ranged from humor and sarcasm to anger and disbelief. Some users joked that if one must get a baby’s consent, then why not ask a pet cat before cleaning its litter box? Others argued that a crying baby already communicates clear consent — or even an urgent demand — for a diaper change. Many questioned Carson’s expertise and real-world experience with children, suggesting that her ideas were disconnected from the practical realities of parenting.

Yet not everyone condemned Carson’s message outright. Some parents and commentators acknowledged that while the example might seem extreme or symbolic, the underlying principle of teaching respect and communication is valuable. These supporters pointed out that babies and toddlers communicate in complex ways long before they develop language skills and that recognizing and honoring this communication can foster healthy emotional development. They applauded Carson for encouraging a dialogue about consent and for challenging traditional assumptions about infant care.

This debate also highlights a broader cultural conversation about parenting philosophies and how modern caregivers navigate raising children in a rapidly changing social landscape. For many parents, the practice of “asking” for consent in daily caregiving tasks may feel like an additional way to promote respect and autonomy. For others, focusing on attentive observation and responsive care without necessarily verbalizing consent may feel more natural and practical.

It is important to note that this approach does not mean neglecting a baby’s immediate needs. Babies cannot be expected to fully understand or control every interaction, and parents must respond promptly to physical needs such as diaper changes to ensure health and comfort. Instead, Carson’s suggestion seeks to add a layer of mindfulness and respect, encouraging caregivers to engage with their infants in a way that honors their personhood from day one.

As the online discourse continues, it serves as a reminder of the diversity of parenting styles and cultural values surrounding child-rearing. Some view Carson’s ideas as progressive steps toward empowering children, while others see them as overreach or impractical idealism. Ultimately, the decision to incorporate consent language into infant care is deeply personal and varies depending on individual beliefs, cultural backgrounds, and parenting philosophies.

What do you think about Deanne Carson’s suggestion that parents ask babies for permission before changing their  diapers? Does this practice promote respect and communication in a meaningful way, or is it an unrealistic expectation given an infant’s developmental stage? Your insights and experiences are valuable to this ongoing conversation. Please share your thoughts, and help spread this story so that more voices can contribute to the discussion on respectful parenting and early consent education.